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From Just a Little Quirky to Darn Near Disabled: Would You Consider an Essay About…

In the Call for Submissions for Bless Your Heart, my description of the types of kids we’re looking for essays about isn’t as clear as it could be. From the beginning of this project, that’s troubled me, and, it turns out, it’s perplexed a few potential contributors too. I had a clear vision in my head of the specific niche the book would fill, based on conversations with my co-editor and publisher, Adrienne Ehlert Bashista, and my research of similar books already on the market. My written description in the Call didn’t reflect that vision clearly. (And I call myself a writer?) A recent email exchange with Adrienne helped me find better words, so I’ll take another stab at clarifying the book’s topic here.

The Call says that we’re interested in essay by parents of kids with ADD, ADHD and other conditions that lead to challenging behaviors. That makes sense, right? Next, I tried to identify what we’re not looking for (based mainly on that market research):

“Essays chosen will focus on children with mild to moderate conditions, rather than children who are disabled by their conditions. We are not seeking stories about children with autism, unless another emotional or behavior disorder, such as ADD or ADHD, is the primary diagnosis, and ‘a little something on the autism spectrum’ is also present. We are not seeking stories about physical disabilities or severe developmental delays. On the other hand, a child need not have a formal diagnosis. The common denominator in the stories will be kids with behavior problems that present a parenting challenge.”

The very first potential contributor to respond noted that my language minimized how disabling ADHD can sometimes be, and that my cavalier “a little something on the autism spectrum” description made light of the severity of autism. Point taken. Ironically, my co-editor and I had both been struggling with the reality of the severity of our own children’s special needs at that very time. (Cosmic justice?)

Forget about the severity factor altogether, and think instead of the concept of relatively “invisible” conditions. To paraphrase Adrienne’s words (I messed around with her words, this isn’t a direct quote):

“Often, people can’t identify a child with behavioral issues when they first see him. People we meet on the street see my son, and say: ‘What a handsome boy!’ or ‘He’s so sweet!’ He’s always at his best in public. With kids who have emotional problems or behavioral issues people either don’t see the behavior that parents see, or when they do, they just think we’re bad parents. But, if they see a child with Down’s Syndrome, they know what to expect. Even kids who are autistic or who have Aspergers are often identifiable once they speak or once you get close to them and notice their quirks.”

I agree that the invisibility of our children’s conditions effects how the world sees them and responds to them, and by association, us (their parents), changing our experiences as parents dramatically.

To summarize, some key words that help define the book’s scope include: relatively “invisible” conditions, challenging behavior, and feelings & experiences of parents. I hope that helps. If it doesn’t…well, questions are always welcome!

Bless Your Heart, Dr. Edward Hallowell!

DRT Press and I are thrilled to announce that everyone’s favorite ADHD expert, Dr. Edward Hallowell, will write the introduction for our upcoming anthology of parents’ personal essays, Bless Your Heart. Hallowell, a renowned psychiatrist, is the bestselling author of 16 books, including ADHD classics Driven to Distraction and Delivered from Distraction, and the newer, inspiration-filled Super Parenting for ADD.

Hallowell’s involvement takes Bless Your Heart one giant leap toward becoming what we dream it will be—a source of affirmation and inspiration to parents raising kids who make it a challenge to stay one step ahead in the parenting game.

Really? You’re Asking for Funny?

I’m hoping that the personal essays published in Bless Your Heart will cover the range from pee-your-pants funny to river-of-tears touching. But, how does one “do” funny when writing about raising a child with special needs?

First of all, if you haven’t found humor in your situation—please talk to your doctor about antidepressant medication. (Kidding! Sort of….) My serious answer to the question of funny is this: when writing your child funny, make sure love and respect shine through the humor.

While researching the market to find books similar to our vision for Bless Your Heart, I came across this one:

(I didn’t know there was new edition. Cool!)

Read Gina Gallaher’s and Patricia Konjoian’s Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid: A Survival Guide for Ordinary Parents of Special Children for a great example of how a loving brand of funny is done.