The Call says that we’re interested in essay by parents of kids with ADD, ADHD and other conditions that lead to challenging behaviors. That makes sense, right? Next, I tried to identify what we’re not looking for (based mainly on that market research):

“Essays chosen will focus on children with mild to moderate conditions, rather than children who are disabled by their conditions. We are not seeking stories about children with autism, unless another emotional or behavior disorder, such as ADD or ADHD, is the primary diagnosis, and ‘a little something on the autism spectrum’ is also present. We are not seeking stories about physical disabilities or severe developmental delays. On the other hand, a child need not have a formal diagnosis. The common denominator in the stories will be kids with behavior problems that present a parenting challenge.”

The very first potential contributor to respond noted that my language minimized how disabling ADHD can sometimes be, and that my cavalier “a little something on the autism spectrum” description made light of the severity of autism. Point taken. Ironically, my co-editor and I had both been struggling with the reality of the severity of our own children’s special needs at that very time. (Cosmic justice?)

Forget about the severity factor altogether, and think instead of the concept of relatively “invisible” conditions. To paraphrase Adrienne’s words (I messed around with her words, this isn’t a direct quote):

“Often, people can’t identify a child with behavioral issues when they first see him. People we meet on the street see my son, and say: ‘What a handsome boy!’ or ‘He’s so sweet!’ He’s always at his best in public. With kids who have emotional problems or behavioral issues people either don’t see the behavior that parents see, or when they do, they just think we’re bad parents. But, if they see a child with Down’s Syndrome, they know what to expect. Even kids who are autistic or who have Aspergers are often identifiable once they speak or once you get close to them and notice their quirks.”

I agree that the invisibility of our children’s conditions effects how the world sees them and responds to them, and by association, us (their parents), changing our experiences as parents dramatically.

To summarize, some key words that help define the book’s scope include: relatively “invisible” conditions, challenging behavior, and feelings & experiences of parents. I hope that helps. If it doesn’t…well, questions are always welcome!

Hallowell’s involvement takes Bless Your Heart one giant leap toward becoming what we dream it will be—a source of affirmation and inspiration to parents raising kids who make it a challenge to stay one step ahead in the parenting game.

First of all, if you haven’t found humor in your situation—please talk to your doctor about antidepressant medication. (Kidding! Sort of….) My serious answer to the question of funny is this: when writing your child funny, make sure love and respect shine through the humor.

While researching the market to find books similar to our vision for Bless Your Heart, I came across this one:

(I didn’t know there was new edition. Cool!)

Read Gina Gallaher’s and Patricia Konjoian’s Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid: A Survival Guide for Ordinary Parents of Special Children for a great example of how a loving brand of funny is done.

One of my favorite books about writing covers this very topic—-how and why to get over the idea that humility is a virtue, because, when it comes to promoting your writing, it won’t serve you well. The book I’m refering to is:

How to Become a Famous Writer Before You’re Dead: Your Words in Print and Your Name in Lights, by Ariel Gore. Now, with no offense intended to Ms. Gore (I’m calling the book a favorite, after all), this isn’t the most well written or edited book you’ll ever read—-I’d guess there was a race to a deadline involved. But the book’s message is right on, and its delivery is as irreverant and entertaining as the lesson is important to learn.

Give it a read, then take another stab at that bio. I’m willing to bet it will be easier, and stronger, the second time around.

Several writers who either expressed interest in submitting, or whom we tracked down and invited to submit, needed a little more time to complete their essays. So, we’re keeping submissions open until…a date to be determined. Check back here for an announcement of that date.

***Deadline extended until June, 2010*** (updated 3/29/10)

But, even after the “final” deadline passes, if your web-surfing leads you here, and you are interested in submitting, shoot me an email letting me know when I might expect to receive your work, and up until the last possible minute, I’d be happy to accept your essay(s) for consideration.

The essays we’ve received so far are mostly about children with ADHD, or with ADHD and a variety of co-existing conditions. Those that refer to other conditions (which is fine!) generally fit well with the others.

We’ve heard from more moms than dads. Come on, men! We need your perspectives too!

Writers’ approaches range from funny to serious, just as we’d hoped.

Writers responded from throughout the U.S. as well as from Canada, New Zealand, and a couple of countries in Europe–a nice reminder that none of us are in this parenting thing alone!

Based on my reading of the essays that have come in so far, I have a few tips for future contributors:

1) Although I can’t seem to pin point specific topics that are “missing” from the mix, I can say that concentrating on a narrower topic is better. A relatively small incident can illustrate a point effectively. During the rewriting/editing stage, I’ll be asking most contributors to hone in on their main idea more closely.

2) When you identify your topic or theme, be sure to give the reader a taste of it in your first paragraph and be sure to tie back to it in the last.

3) Avoid ending your essay with a summary of how the child is doing today. Instead, as mentioned above, be sure your conclusion both ties back to your intro and reflects your topic or theme.

If you’ve already submitted and your essay is chosen for inclusion in the book, you can expect that these are things I’ll focus on when I contact you about rewriting/editing your piece. Know that they apply to nearly every submission I’ve received. That doesn’t mean that any of the essays were poorly written–that’s not the case at all. It simply reflects my vision, as the editor, for this book, and the way I see this particular collection of stories fitting together into a successful anthology.

Thanks to everyone who has heeded our Call for Submissions, or is about to. What a talented, caring, funny, and smart group of parents!

Those of you who want a direct answer to the word count question will find it here: Essays submitted should be between 750-2000 words.

Those who want to know why we didn’t specify a word count in the first place will find the (long) answer here: There is a hereditary component to ADHD, so there’s a pretty good chance that some of the people who buy the completed anthology–some parents of kids with ADHD–will also have ADHD, and may prefer to read several short pieces, in their entirety, in a series of brief sittings. We are looking for essays of varying lengths–some short and to the point, some longer and more meaty–to appeal to a wide range of readers. Therefore, we’ll (at least) consider essays of any length. (Will that statement come back to haunt me? See also: the short answer above!)

Here’s my answer:

1) Choose a fairly narrow topic. Even though we didn’t state a word-count limit, by the time you set the stage, tell your story, and bring your point home with a great concluding paragraph or sentence, you’ll have yourself an essay.

2) Choose a topic that conveys something unique about your family/situation, but with an element that other parents are sure to relate to. For example, the individual who posed this question stated that both of her children are brilliant. The way their ADHD impacts their ability to apply/take advantage of that brilliance might be a great focus for an essay. The children’s unusually high levels of intelligence is the unique aspect of the author’s situation, but many parents of kids with ADHD will relate to wondering what if…? How might our children’s lives (choices, successes, failures, opportunities) be different (better? worse?) without ADHD?

3) Read the Call for Submissions several times, looking for key words, and let those key words guide you.

4) We plan to group essays into sections based upon as yet unknown similarities of theme. Those groupings will reveal themselves as essays trickle (or flood!) in. It’s too early to know the various topics we’ll receive essays about, and where the holes will be. As our submission deadline draws nearer we’ll have a better idea of niches that need filling.

5) Still having trouble chosing a focus? Remember, you may chose to submit more than one essay!

Good luck in finding the perfect angle for your essay, and above all, enjoy the writing process!

Kay